This is my Exodus

Harriet Tubman once said, “I grew up like a neglected weed- ignorant of liberty, having no experience of it. Then I was not happy or contented.” 

FELT. LIVED. Felt again and again. Then came the liberating freedom when I surrendered it all to Jesus. 

Maybe I should start at the beginning. 

By the age of 5, I was subject to every kind of abuse known to man. Weekdays were spent at home, living at poverty level with my 2 brothers, our Mom when she wasn’t at work or taking care of someone else, and our pedophile Step Father. Weekends were at our Grandparents with our Dad, a home of many comforts and luxury, as well as volatile eruptions. By the age of 11, 2 Grandfather’s had passed, our Mom was divorced, and we moved for the 15th time. I’ve never lived anywhere long enough to watch a tree grow. Back to low income apartments and now our Mom was suddenly a lesbian. Enter step child and alcoholic, pill addicted step mom. At Grandma’s, Dad had moved in his young baby momma and our baby sister. The violence only increasing after Papaw’s death.  

In school I was one of the top students in my class. I excelled at Cheer, Choir, Softaball, and Computer Technology back in the mac days. I found Jesus in a little bitty church at the age of 12. While I hungered for the peace and the fire I felt at church, at home I was angry and starting to rebel. I’d fight anyone. I beat up any and every boy in the apartment complex. I fought at the pool, at the park, and constantly at home. I’d sneak out to go to church. At home I was enslaved to all the abuse. My Mom was so lost and my constant shaming of all her wrongs only tightened the grip of the chains. 

By the time I reached 17, I had left the church. After  3 supernatural revival fire years serving in the Kingdom, in my church, and in my community, a church split deeply wounded this broken little girl, whom had never fully surrendered. 

Once again, I was hurt. I was angry and I blamed God. Over the next 21 years, I lived somewhere between lukewarm and Jezebel. I experienced more things you cannot script. If you can’t think of it. It. happened. 

I became a Mom of 3 in those years and would struggle off and on with drug and sexual addiction. I’ve had 6 1/2 years of sobriety before, but I wasn’t living a life for Christ. I’ve put my children, my family, and my friends through Hell. I’ve lost siblings and countless friends and family to suicide, drugs, murder, and other tragedy. I knew better but didn’t do better. For 21 years I was an ignorant weed. Enslaving myself. Had I only known sooner the liberation that comes with true surrender…surrender of all the broken pieces. All of the anger. All of the mistrust and confusion. All of the everything.  It’s the reason I write. It’s the reason I’ll travel for hours with gas prices at $4.60/gal. WE overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony and it’s my deepest desire to lead others to freedom in a world so tragically enslaved. 

I’m a month away from celebrating 3 years free from the grips of drug addiction. 20 months free from sexual addiction. 17 months free from codependency. 5 months free from nicotine.  35 months ago I began this redemption journey knowing Who’s I am to know who I am, it’s the most liberating free and merciful gift. I don’t deserve it. Like I said. I KNEW better. Yet, 21 yrs ago,  I let the lies of the enemy lead me back into sin. Enslaving me yet again. Then he used more lies to shame me.  Leaving me to fill hopeless and bound to sin forever. I’m eternally grateful God caught up to me before my lifestyle did. Hallelujah! 

Christ has set me Free. Free Indeed. John 8:36

Paul says in Galatians 4:7 that I am “no longer a slave but a joint heir.”  An heiress to the Kingdom!!! Not just me. If you have accepted Him as your Savior. If you have made Him LORD over every area of your life. You too are His heir.   How often we don’t live liberated as His heirs, walking in Freedom for the Kingdom,   allowing the enemy to chain us yet again. The devil enslaves us with our silence. We must Go into All the World and Tell (Mark 16:15.) That’s a command straight from Jesus. He tells us too in Luke 10:19 that He has given us “all authority over ALL the power of the enemy.” How quickly we are to stay silent.  How quickly we tend to retreat when life gets tough. How quickly we turn to worldly comforts when all we have to do is stay ✝️ Eyed, with Scepter in one hand and our Sword(the Word of God) in the other. 

Heck, the devil doesn’t even have to slap the chains on, we do it for him every time we cower from who God has called us to be. We are His disciples. We are to obey Him. We are to Go and Make disciples. We are to Love people. Even our enemies. We are to die daily and take up our cross and follow Him. We are to endure through the suffering as Jesus did knowing that our reward is in Heaven. We are to seek Him Above all else. His Kingdom Come. His will be done. 

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of seeing the world suffer. Communities suffer.  Families suffer. The church suffer. I want everyone to know of the Freedom we have in Christ Jesus. Freedom from everything that enslaved me. I will rise up. Who’s coming with me?!! In Christ alone, I am free. I am happy. I am content. Because of Him, as His heiress, I will freely live everyday building His Kingdom sharing my redemption story. 

“Take me from where I am into Your promised land. Guide me by Your great hand. Wherever You go, I’ll follow. Break off my yesterday. Praying for brighter days. Running with no restraints. Wherever you go, I’ll follow. Gone are the chains that were holding me. Gone is the person I used to be. Freed from the fear by your perfect love. This is my exodus.” - Maverick City Music 


Oh, and it “just so happens, my recovery date, June 19th. It’s now a National Holiday for the Abolishment of slavery. #thatswhatsup


#blogger4jesus #freeindeed #wedorecover #nolongerslaves #knowingWhosyouare #lookingback2goforward #testify #womenevolve #revolution 






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